Buying pants is a struggle! And it’s easy to get snared in shameful thoughts about what size you “should” wear.
Buying pants has always been a struggle. Nothing ever seems to fit quite right. I have short legs, so most pants are too long, but if I buy a petite pant, then they’re usually just a little bit too short. To get things to fit in my booty and my hips, they never fit quite right in the waist. I mean, in recent years, with the advance in technology with the more elasticky kinds of waistlines, that’s helped some, but my body just doesn’t always wear pants well.
I recently found myself in a situation where I needed to buy a pair of slacks, new business-casual appropriate. I’ve got to tell you, it has been more than a decade since I needed a pair of business-casual appropriate pants. Right. I [00:01:00] have worn jeans. I have worn shorts. I’ve worn a lot of dresses and skirts, but slacks, not so much.
So I went into a store having no idea what I needed, what even styles were popular, what was going to look good on me and certainly what was going to fit. So I walked around the store, and I actually found an option that was in two different colors, a white pair and a black pair. And I was like, “Ooh, these might be cute.”
But I had no idea what size to grab. So I grabbed three different sizes, thinking surely one of these will fit my body. I get into the dressing room. And of course I started with the smallest size because that’s what I wanted it to be. Right. We’re conditioned to always want to fit into the smallest size we can.
That size didn’t work. So I went to the next size, that middle size, thinking, okay, surely this one will fit. And I could get into them. But I was sucking [00:02:00] a lot in, and they just weren’t very comfortable. And so I took those pants off, and I could feel myself sinking because I didn’t want to have to wear that larger size that I had picked out, but, you know, facts are facts.
So I put that pair of pants on and here’s the thing. They felt really good. They were comfortable. The pockets were functional. The length was perfect. I actually felt like I looked cute in them, and I was like, I can walk confidently in these pants.
So I get to have a choice here. Do I shame myself for needing the largest size that I had picked out, you know, and maybe even buy the smaller size because you know, with the hope that I can lose a little weight before I wear them?
Or do I just go with the size that I need and be confident in who I am and know that my worth cannot be measured by a number [00:03:00] on a clothing label?
So I took some breaths. I gave myself a hug in that dressing room because that’s really actually what I needed. And just a reminder that what society tells us about clothing sizes is not actually what I believe about my worth.
And then I bought the pants that actually fit me well, and I brought them home. And I have to tell you, I’m so glad I made that choice because I wore them to the event I needed to wear them to. I was comfortable. I felt a little sassy cause they were kind of trendy with the flare. And I just felt really good in them, even to the point my husband kind of in a flirty way was like, “Hey, nice butt,” one morning before I left. And here’s the thing, he didn’t know about all the inner turmoil I’d had in the dressing room. He was just speaking from the heart and being flirty. He didn’t care what number that label said either. [00:04:00] I was the one who thought other people were going to care.
So the next time you’ve got to buy pants, just remember buy the pants that fit. Buy the pants that feel good. Buy the pants with functional pockets. Right? That’s what’s most important, not what that number says.
Cause we live in human bodies. Human bodies change. Our pants sizes are going to change. What I needed for pants 10 years ago is not what I need today, and what I need in pants 10 years from meal, it’s probably not going to be the same pair of pants or the same size pants then.
All right. One more note. You’ll notice that I didn’t share what sizes I picked out. That’s not because I’m being secretive. If you want to know, just send me an email. I’m happy to share, but I do know that for some people, especially folks struggling with eating disorders, that numbers can be really triggering.
And I also know that numbers offer [00:05:00] us immediate comparison, like, “Oh, well, I’m smaller than she is, or I’m bigger than she is.” And that’s not what’s important here. What’s important is about buying the clothes that fit you that allow you to walk around in confidence. Right? Take care.