The 5 Love Languages and Your Body

Use the 5 Love Languages to offer love to your body.

Hi, I’m Nicole C. Ayers. Have you ever heard of the Five Love Languages? This idea originated in a book by Gary Chapman called The Five Love Languages, and it’s the idea that there are five different ways that we like to be loved. And you can go online and take a quiz, or you can read this book to see what your love language.

Or to see what your partner’s love language is, or maybe your child’s love language is, so that then you can be a more loving partner. We, we often have ideas about what makes people feel loved, and this technique was a great way to get some real concrete evidence on what makes us feel loved.

And so I wanna apply the five love languages to our relationships with our bodies. How can you love your body. Because when I talk about becoming accepting of your body, of creating a new relationship with your body, people will often wonder, how do I get started? So let’s think about what makes you feel loved.

The five love languages are words of affirmation. So this is saying kind things to yourself. So if you’re a words person, if hearing compliments feels good to you, what kinds of things could you say to your body that are positive? I’m a huge fan of this one. I wrote a whole book called Love Notes to My Body if you need some inspiration on how to get started.

The second love language is gift giving. Some people really feel loved when they receive a gift. If that’s you, what kinda gifts could you give yourself? Maybe a really soft, comfortable pair of pajamas would be a gift you could give your body. Maybe you treat your body to a massage or a facial or something that would feel really luxurious and good to you.

Gift giving doesn’t have to be expensive. Maybe you give your body the gift of time outside. Be creative if gifts is your love language.

A third love language is quality time. So if you’re someone who feels really loved when people sit down with you, give you their full attention and just let you say whatever you need to say, you might really thrive on a solo trip or taking walks by yourself. Or just getting a quiet few minutes every day, before everybody else comes in with their opinions, to just sit and be with your body, to take some breaths, to notice what your senses are picking up.

So the fourth kind of love language that might appeal to you is acts of service. This is my love language, and this is when someone does something kind for you. Like I feel really loved if someone does a chore for me, or if someone just surprises me with some help that I really needed but hadn’t wanted to ask for.

So acts of service for your body can look really different. Maybe it’s making a doctor’s appointment that you’ve been putting off. Today, for me, it looked like going to vote because I was allowing my voice to be heard by casting my vote, and I was also casting a vote to protect my body and to take care of it because I was voting for candidates who honor women’s rights.

So acts of service are these things that you can do for your body to help it feel good, to give it the help that it needs. Maybe it’s just a nutritious meal, or if it’s cold, putting a sweater on.

And then the fifth kind of love language is physical touch. So some people feel so loved when other people hold their hand, or give them a hug, or ruffle their hair, or even they experience intimacy with somebody else.

You can have that same with yourself. Wrap your arms around yourself right now. Just give yourself a hug. You can give yourself a head massage. You know, maybe you just cup your face.

So many ways again, you can love on yourself. If you’re thinking about incorporating a practice that allows you to love on your body, even if you’re not feeling loving to your body, you wanna just offer some love to it, look at the five love languages: words of affirmation, gifts, physical touch, acts of service, or quality time.

Let me know what you decide to try. Take care.