Making peace with my body helped me make peace with money too.
Are you questioning how in the daylight I got comfortable with money after I got comfortable with my body? If you think it sounds like a stretch, I get it. But it’s a true story!
And before anybody asks—no, I wasn’t selling my physical delights to pad my bottom line.
Past Me and Money
I lived in a state of scarcity most of the time. Even though my basic needs and many of my wants were always met, I never seemed to have enough money. Not in a greedy way. In a literal way.
I lived paycheck to paycheck. More than once, my card would be declined, even though I’d swear there was money in the bank. Or I’d have to check my balance and do some jiggly math to judge if I could make a last-minute purchase before pay day.
I also carried debt because I couldn’t seem to master saving for something versus buying it on credit. And forget a safety-net nest egg. I felt like a failure.
I swung wildly between YOLO (you only live once) and NOMO (no more spending on anything extra until this debt is paid!).
Money thoughts were a constant source of anxiety.
But when I began to make peace with my body, I awakened to some key truths: I did not believe in my own worth, and I did not know how to receive with grace.
My daily affirmation became I am enough. I have enough. I do enough.
As my sense of worthiness grew, so did my frustration around money. I knew that I was intelligent and could do basic math, so why did financial literacy elude me? Why did the idea of anything related to money make my chest tight and my breath shallow? Why couldn’t I figure it out?
Was I not manifesting correctly? And what did that even mean?
I began to extend myself some grace though. When my nastygram narrator grabbed the mic to shame me about my money failures, I told her to zip it up. And then a little miracle happened.
I found the work of Tosha Silver, whose two books Outrageous Openness and It’s Not Your Money, shifted how I felt about receiving. I began to look for daily evidence of magical miracles to remind me that I received all sorts of abundance on the regular.
I noticed the small things, like finding a prime parking spot in the rain. Or how critters would delight me on my walks. Discovering change on the ground became a celebration. And a friend calling when I needed to talk reminded me of all that I could receive when I opened my heart.
A healer I worked with taught me to say “Thank you! More of this please! Surprise me!” with a little wiggle and shimmy every time I noticed one of these magical miracles.
Becoming a Student of Money
As my confidence grew, I shared my desire to become better with money with Terry, my husband and partner in all things. We found a money course to help us learn what we didn’t know. But this wasn’t just a numbers course. It was an embodiment and feelings course too.
We examined how we felt about money; our past histories with money; the stories about money we’d absorbed growing up. We learned how to look at our actual numbers, how to use a budgeting tool, and how to celebrate our wins. And best of all, we used body check-ins to analyze what was going on inside of us during our money dates.
That looked like taking some deep breaths and noticing our bodies’ sensations. This clued us in when we were stressed and anxious, fearful even, or excited. Once we could notice and name what was happening in our bodies, we began to communicate that information to each other, which made our conversations around money so much more productive. Those body check-ins helped us use our tools to stay grounded and present.
Our bodies are so wise. I bang this drum all the time, but it needs to be repeated until we all believe it. Being familiar with your body and the sensations (information) it sends you can absolutely help you master all sorts of things that may have felt too hard in the past, things just like money.